I Am Not Alone

March 12, 2012 § 4 Comments

118 Lines

Oh, God, I’m so scared.
It hurts so to breathe.
Fear breaks down to tears —
tears just seethe.
There’s not enough time.
All I have is now.
Push has come to shove.
Time to wipe my brow.

I’m standing up now,
getting off the floor
I’ve cried the tears
’till I have no more.
I might be scared,
I might be lost,
But won’t pay the price.
Can’t afford the cost.

With two feet under
and a heart of stone,
where names are chiseled,
I am not alone.
With two hands held up
and a soul of steel,
where faces reflect,
I’ll make my appeal.

I’m not blind, you see.
I know what I’ve done.
The things I have said.
The words I have spun.
I’m in quite too deep.
Should I hide or care?
And from the mirror,
I just lay and glare.

I’m standing up now,
getting off the floor
I’ve cried the tears
’till I have no more.
I might be scared,
I might be lost,
But won’t pay the price.
Can’t afford the cost.

A day late again.
Just a dollar short.
Steady the tremble,
trapped in my own fort.
The walls are still up,
but my guard is down.
I’m ready to dance,
dressed sweet in my gown.

With two feet under
and a heart of stone,
where names are chiseled,
I am not alone.
With two hands held up
and a soul of steel,
where faces reflect,
I’ll make my appeal.

I couldn’t have known
the way it would go.
I couldn’t have seen
how the pain would grow.
But you must know now,
answers lay in travel.
I hurt… you hurt, too.
Sorry for the unravel.

Still without answers,
can’t say what to do.
I’ve searched everywhere.
The crow could have flew.
Can I come home now.
I can’t say I know.
I’m afraid to breathe.
Frightened of the woe.

I’m standing up now,
getting off the floor
I’ve cried the tears
’till I have no more.
I might be scared,
I might be lost,
But won’t pay the price.
Can’t afford the cost.

With two feet under
and a heart of stone.
Where names are chiseled,
I am not alone.
With two hands held up
and a soul of steel.
Where faces reflect,
I’ll make my appeal.

I may never know sure
just what I should do,
but I know I love
and love goes to you.
I’ll keep you in heart.
You keep me in, too.
I may return soon.
Back whence the crow flew.

With a heart of stone,
Where names are chiseled,
I am not alone.

With a soul of steel,
where faces reflect,
We forever connect.

I am not alone.
I am not alone.

Lessons Lost

February 21, 2012 § Leave a comment

I’ve learned so many things over the years.
I’ve been taught to cry and laugh through my fears.
Love has blinded my soul and hate my heart.
God has kept me from falling apart.

Today I sit where I can, lay where I will.
The world has given less than my fill.
Loneliness is a ghost… maybe a friend.
Togetherness is nothing some will lend.
I could cry, maybe I should scream,
but why when life must be a dream?

Parts are missing deep inside what I am.
Maybe hidden behind the proverbial dam —
lost behind walls made of fear and rage.
Building between bars of loss’s cage.
Maybe stripped away with passing time
or shattered after the fall of my prime.

I’ve learned the losses over the years.
I’ve been taught to cry and laugh through my fears.
Hurt has blinded my soul and joy my heart.
Love has kept me from falling apart.

Is it the love or the woman I lost.
That carries this atrocious cost?
Days have found themselves ruthless.
The nights snarling toothless.
I can’t be destroyed with it all,
but each year I steadily fall.

This day I let all the past go.
Tonight let the rhythm slow.
I love her — never doubt this verity.
This is all I’ve ever seen with clarity.
And I may never know how or why,
but I can still say farewell, goodbye.

I’d learned so many things over the years.
I’d been taught to cry and laugh through my fears.
She has blinded my soul and love my heart.
Nothing kept me from falling apart.

 

This is an older piece, by a few years, but I wanted to share it. It shows a viciousness I think we all live through – though some of us never make it all the way to the other side before we lose. I think that’s what’s saddest about the poem.

Under Cover Of Smile

February 21, 2012 § Leave a comment

Grossly involved in past and time,
living with reason, on broken dime.

Searching and needing, wanting.
Mistakes that stay, still haunting.

Survival, felicity, the need.
I try for you, just you. Lead.

I have discrepancies. Faults.
If you stay – that life halts.

Let me plead… I won’t.
If you go… please, don’t.

Turned about and scared.
Confused… here, I’m bared.

What can I say – what can I do?
I’ve got to stop, think this through.

The wound… will still be fresh,
in ten years’ time under aging flesh.

If you go… if you go will you return?
Or will this union slowly adjourn?

To hell with rhythm, to hell with flow.
I need you, I do – please, don’t go.

I need you. Don’t go. I’ll change and shift.
Don’t board. Don’t fly. Don’t drift.

Time Passed

February 21, 2012 § Leave a comment

Listen. Don’t speak.
I feel… feel weak.
Come home.
I’m alone.

On Our Own

February 21, 2012 § Leave a comment

We thought we did it on our own,
but the hand of God must have tired.
We thought the smoke and flame,
was love freshly wired.

Something was burning high,
someone cried the battle ensued.
I laughed, you laughed, we did.
The days lingered, they accrued.

We thought we did it on our own,
but our angel must have fled.
We thought we’d made it home,
but the past, staying, still bled.

It was something worth the laughs,
something worth holding to.
It was worth the tears and fights,
something just a bit askew.

We thought we did it on our own,
but we lost it in the hustle.
Pushed through the hassle,
the end started small, a rustle.

It was money and rage
where we set astride.
Now I have my guilt,
and we have our pride.

The hand of God has gone,
divine backs have turned.
In the days come to pass,
we won’t admit we have yearned.

Time Has Come

February 21, 2012 § Leave a comment

Good morning, Darling, Love, Sweet
Is this the day we may finally meet?

Good morning, the day has begun
The night has found itself undone.

No more dreams, no more screams
Just the beauty of the morning gleams.

These Images

February 21, 2012 § Leave a comment

You’re there on my bed, when I wake each morning
fading into the night where you now stay.
The hours after are filled with waiting.
I’m waiting for the end of each day.

I meet you in my dreams each and every night.
These images soothe this aching loss I keep.
Behind closed eyes is a world filled with us &mdash
A world where you and I will never weep.

Your arms are always open and warm.
Your smile belongs to me alone.
Nothing separates the us we are.
These images finally take us home.

There’s no anger, there’s no regret.
You love me one more time each night
and each night I can feel life again.
The world is friendly… yes, all is right.

These images tell what should have been —
Of how I see and feel within.
They only tell how life would be
if it were to be again.

 

I’m still writing small pieces on the side while I work on the novel. I’ve been at poetry lately. Feeling a bit rusty in that area, so I’ll just flex out those muscles a bit.

I Thought About You Today

February 15, 2012 § Leave a comment

I thought about you today.
It’s no different this day
than any other in any way.

I saw a woman crying —
rigid and cold on the street.
Loneliness tempted her
with broken shards at her feet.

No one stopped
to question why
I shook my head,
but walked on by.

Then I heard a whisper
to guard my life and soul.
Salvation wasn’t my mission,
but concern should be my role.

With a huff, I turned back.
Guilty impatience at my heels.
Such an imposition
to find out how she feels

I tried to give her money.
Tried to give her all I had.
She shook her head in sorrow.
“Didn’t you hear why I am sad?

“I have a billion dollars —
a house upon the shore.
I don’t want this world.
I want something more.

“You sat and you listened.
Held my hand tight while I cried.
So tomorrow I’ll think of you
and how you tried

“I’ll do the best I can.
When reckoning is done
I’ll mention your name, dear,
to Him and the Holy Son

“He’ll tell me you huffed
and how you walked away.
And I’ll tell Him this story…
how you saved my soul today

“Salvation isn’t your mission,
but concern should be your role.”
Then she climbed in her mansion
And covered up the hole

I laid the money
there at her barren shore.
I prayed tomorrow
might give her more.

Then I thought of you…

I thought about you today.
It’s no different this day
than any other in any way

May the billionaires
find riches beneath their shores
May the billionaires
find relief for festered sores

And if you’re still listening…

May the poor
be humbled by your grace.
May the poor
find salvation at your base.

I thought about you today.
It’s no different this day,
than any other in any way.

Note: I don’t normally touch down in the religious area – at least not on a strict denomination area, but this is a piece I wrote and thought I’d share none-the-less.

Love In The Dawn

January 4, 2012 § Leave a comment

I’m singing just one song.
Just one song to you.
I’m singing just one song —
All the way through.

No one knows where I am.
My spirit quietly at rest.
No one knows I’m here —
It couldn’t be guessed.

I’m cresting past the rain.
Flying beyond the high sea.
Better now than ever before —
Better by any degree.

But I’ll sing you one song.
Just one before I’m gone.
Then whisper it after —
The love in the dawn.

Day 1 – 365 Stories

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